My Own Damned Fault

I am officially bummed out tonight.

I was supposed to write an automated script that would have pushed the latest security patch released by Microsoft to all computers that I took care of yesterday. I should have known better than to start something so late in the afternoon when I could hardly stay awake much less think straight. I should also know better than put something in production mode before thoroughly testing it but as I said my priorities yesterday was totally screwed up. As a result of my negligence, I came to work today amidst a scene of total chaos. It seems that the automated script I wrote did not send out the security patches that I had planned but instead disabled the login user IDs to almost 1000 computers at my customer’s office. I had to spend the whole day today fixing the problem as well as taking a lot of heat from my inconvenienced customers. My boss didn’t say a word to me the whole day about it but I can clearly see that he was disappointed with me about the whole thing.

I take a lot of pride in my work. I have been patiently building this reputation of being the dependable and go to guy in the office in hopes of getting noticed by the big wigs at our head office who might offer me a promotion out of there. Now I feel that this mistake will cost me major brownie points in terms of that promotion. I feel that the hard work that I’ve been putting in is slipping through my fingers. This was a mistake that should not have happened and one that I could have easily caught before it caused this much damage if only I were paying more attention to what I was doing. Having to explain myself and calm down furious customers on the phone for the whole day today didn’t really help me feel better about myself. In my line of work, people tend to think that you are part of the furniture and generally ignore you like you were invisible if everything was running smoothly. The moment that something breaks down, everyone suddenly knows your name and phone number to call demanding that you fix the problem immediately.

I realize that there is no use to cry over split milk. Good thing that I quit drinking or else this would be a perfect occasion for me to curl up with a bottle of Stoli and medicate myself into a stupor like I used to do in college. Instead, what I should do now is learn from this mistake and take steps to ensure that something like this never happens again. This means that I should follow the procedures that I was supposed to follow and not take shortcuts just because I happened to be the one who actually wrote the procedures for my team. I should also find a way to be more alert after lunch instead of nodding off at my desk every time it hits 3pm. I might also want to think about cutting down on my web browsing at work. All that slash fiction involving Dawson’s Creek characters, while can really be an *enjoyable* way to spend afternoons at the office, doesn’t really help me concentrate on my work.

It actually feels good that I am able to put this down in writing and file it away as a lesson learned. Now I can move forward and enjoy the remainder of the evening. The only regret I have left tonight is subjecting the people who come to my blog site with the details of my pathetic existence.

Now, that sounds depressing.

Buck up little camper!

I better sign off before I start arguing with myself again.